z_jay | Luceti | Appointments

...men in black?

[He laughs.] Oh? What sort of horrid things do you have, then? And where?

[He shrugs.]

I do not forget things, as a rule. There is only so much pain someone might want to recall.

It's a movie, originally a comic. Two guys in an organization, erasing people's memories about aliens for their own good. Maintaining the Prime Directive sort of stuff.

And have you ever heard of a Shippo? You will experience new levels of disappointment once you see it.

[That... was sound logic, though he knew as brilliant as Loki was, and as much as he thought things through, he was... prone to chaotic things. As was his penchant.]

What kind of painful things?

[Well, he knew the prime directive, thanks to the same shifts that put him in this horrible position.] I don't see how one would maintain the Prime Directive that way.

Nay, I know not what a Shippo is. But it must be horribly embarrassing. Were you drunk at the time?

[He shrugs one shoulder.] I do not need to recall was it was like, to be skinned, as one example.

[And yet that pain, he has held on to. But all that pain does is disturb his sleep at times. It keeps him angry when he needs to be, reminds him why his victory over Odin is important.

Unlike this... emotional frustration. That does nothing but bring him misery and cause trouble between him and Rogue, as far as he's concerned.]

I was incredibly drunk. But it sounded like the most awesome thing ever at that moment. It's kind of sentimental to me, though... it's on my left calf.

[Dropping a statement like that had Eugene wondering just what more Loki had been through. Understandably, he knew much less about Loki than Loki knew about him...]

Yeah, I don't think I'd like to remember that, either.

[He hadn't wanted to remember what it was like to feel feverish, see his leg change in ways he knew spelled bad news for him and Jack. But Loki had the floor here, and he wanted to hear about this. It felt somewhat foreboding, but he could be reading into things too much]

I try not to think about all the horrible things that have happened to me. They'll keep me up at night, if so.

[He laughs.] Many things sound...awesome. When drunk. Now I am very curious about this embarrassing monstrosity on your calf.

[Lalala foreshadowing~~]

Ah. So would you forget such things more permanently, if you could?

What, if I could forget every mistake I've ever made?

[He thought about it seriously, for a long moment.]

If it didn't bear to me learning anything from it, then a few? I don't know, sometimes it's that stuff that makes life interesting. But yeah, learning I can scream like a girl from a zom crawling out from under a van I'm running past doesn't really serve much purpose, I guess?

Not all mistakes should be forgotten. One learns much from failure. But if a mistake cannot be shaken, and causes only pain?

It seems yes, it would be good to forget.

[He laughs.]

If only such things were possible.

I'm just glad that the worst of my memories are pretty hazy.

[The pain of amputating without any proper medical technique was only a lesson in how more pain can be heaped on top of pain, and the limits of his own tolerance for it. Definitely something that he could do without, because knowing what his limits were in terms of pain... wasn't really applicable in reality. Not that he knew of.]

... I kinda feel like we might be talking about something I'm not on the same page as.

Oh? Nay, I think we are on the same page. In agreement, even, that there is no point in recalling pain for the sake of pain. And thinking that perhaps some things would be better forgotten, when they add nothing good to one's life.

[Now, how you would want to define that... well. That's more personal.]

...It's just so somber. Discussing this, when we've already had enough crap thrown at us these past few weeks. [Sometimes he felt like dwelling, sure, but when he was with Loki, he didn't want to continue to flounder in discomfort for the sake of misery enjoying company. Loki came here because he wanted to get out of his place, and Eugene wasn't going to encourage him to dwell on these things]

So, focus on the good things. It's kind of lying to yourself, but in the end, so long as you lie to yourself in moderation, I think it's alright to do so.

[So ultimately, what he's gained from this is that humans would rid themselves of memories of they could. It's just that they can't, and thus all the platitudes about it being better to remember things that cause only terrible.

Topical.]

My apologies. I've been in a melancholy, I suppose.

I think you're the first person I've ever known who has encouraged me to lie to myself. [That's amusing.]

I ought to find merrier things of which to speak, but I haven't even any good books to recommend.

[Humans were creatures that adapted to compensate for that which they couldn't change. Eugene would use it as an argument, but undoubtedly, there would be some fault found in that logic. The fact that Loki really couldn't distract himself with his typical habits was an unfortunate reality, and one that may have given him the predisposition to be so melancholy to begin with.][Something he'd been meaning to ask Loki about, anyway]

Actually, I'm not joking. The last thing I want is for all of that clusterfuck to happen again, and... I dunno, I like hearing you talk more than reading from a book or learning from someone else.

I'm not particularly looking to die again, no. Not remove any of the rest of it. [Killing mother? No thank you. The idiotic conversation with Eugene? No. Very much.]

Well, I do have a very nice voice, I've been told. What is it you're seeking to learn, however? I thought the point of this was rather me learning that humans are utterly boring and I should wash my hands of you.

[If only it were that easy.]

We're so boring that you just have to marvel at how we do it so well. But... mainly, assessing how to deal with threats of the sophisticated nature? I know how to avoid zoms, but they're not exactly intelligent. They move on primal instincts, and that doesn't really help against actual adversaries.

[Things weren't settled, they probably wouldn't be settled for a very long time. All he could do to help Loki was to be... a distraction from his inner thoughts. As much as he could be.]

And maybe a weapon or two.

It isn't a marvel at all, Eugene. Most people are intensely boring as far as I'm concerned.

[Loki tilts his head slightly.] Are you asking for training?

I... yes. Training. It'd be useful. Less dying, more frying. The enemy, I mean.

[If he found most people intensely boring, he figured there must be at least something not-boring about him and Jack that drew Loki to them. He felt a little smug about that idea, but like hell he was going to have it dashed by asking about it]

I'm actually hoping for training.

[He laughs quietly.] Your first goal should be surviving. Actually defeating the enemy is the advanced course.

[Why is Eugene asking him? Didn't he just die? And there's the bit where he's blind, but he has enough ways around that he can at least start on the basics.]

So help train me to survive.

[Eugene hadn't exactly done much to survive, he'd just been lucky, coincidentally not the one who had been killed. There was so much about that he'd rather not repeat, so by doing something, training, he might prevent that]

I just... don't want a repeat of what happened.

[Oh good. Someone who isn't in love with punching things. That's refreshing.] Name all the exits from this shop, in order of distance from our current position.

Uh...

[This was something he did have experience in taking care to notice, his eyes darting to one of the windows nearby]

Window, entrance, back entrance. Please don't say through the ceiling, I don't think I have that kind of arm strength to haul myself up there.

Then we shall have to work on that.

Are any of the vents large enough for you to fit your shoulders through?

Not exactly. Jack, yes, but I'm... not Jack.

[He laughs softly, giving Eugene's hands a light squeeze.] No, you are not Jack. You're quite yourself.

Five ways you would get through the window. Go.

Jump through, crash through, sneak through...

[Was this a test? He gave Loki a considering look, knowing full well the man couldn't see him, but he couldn't help how he always looked him in the face when speaking to him.]

Does it have to be my body going through the window? Can I have things like I dunno, a grenade?

Your body eventually has to make it through the window. Do you normally keep grenades in the coffee shop?

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