z_jay | Luceti | Appointments

Tony was an ass of the first water. But he was also hideously observant at times.

[He sighs.]

I am a chaos god. It is my nature to do as I want. [But no, digging more deeply into this isn't going to accomplish anything, is it? And it makes him sound so pathetically weak as well. Unable to control his feelings. Not even that, but driven by them! To do foolish things.

He isn't a fool. He isn't a fool. He's stronger than that, Better than that. He'll figure something out. He shakes his head.] Never mind, you are right.

[But he wants Eugene. He wants Jack. In much the same way he wants Rogue, though she comes always first in his concerns. And his mind strains to find a way that he can have all of these things he wants, because he refuses to believe a problem exists without a solution he can find and implement.

He will drive himself mad with this.

And he'd better divert the topic, he decides. He smiles crookedly.] You ought to tell me more of yourself, Eugene. Perhaps then I won't like you any longer.

Just because you're observant doesn't mean you know everything there is to know about someone. [Grinning a little, he ducked his head, refraining from mentioning that Rogue had asked the very same. It was true, though. Truer for him than for Jack, because Eugene generally kept to himself and only opened up when he was sure of the risk...]

Well, you... know the most interesting stuff about me already. Zombies, amputations, my thrilling love life with my beloved, and our quirky radio show... all the other stuff is pretty damn boring.

Yes, that would be a little silly. But it's more about knowing the pertinent things, yes?

[Eyebrows go up.] Is it really? There is nothing else to know, I've already got it all?

[Looking a little more thoughtful, Eugene tipped his head and thought back to what might be more pertinent]

I'm Canadian. Hailing from the west coast, British Columbia. I've got siblings, both younger. I've got a couple of tattoos... and I'm originally a food journalist. I mean, by comparison to you or ... most of the people in Luceti, I'm nothing. My claim to fame is documenting the grey-flu breakout on my cell.

Oh, one of those rotten older brother sorts. I don't know why I like you at all.

Tattoos? [Then he sighs.] Not as if I could see such things. [He finds them quite fascinating, though...at least when printed on the right skin.]

Don't be too hard on yourself. I am a god, after all. Few people can quite reach my level. [He grins.] What did you do with such documentation?

I'm the worst older brother, braiding my sister's hair and scaring off tramps for my brother. I can imitate a moose call. Comes in handy in the strangest ways.

And yes, tattoos. Mostly I have them on places I can easily cover on account of work, but... here.

[He shifted, taking Loki's hand and manipulating him to pointing with his index finger. Then he navigated him to press on dots along his shoulder, twisting so he could speak to him] This one's easiest to kind of see... I think. Constellation of my zodiac sign. It's just dots, no lines.

And what did I do with what documentation? The food stuff I wrote about? It went to the Weekend Magazine.

Oh, is that so? What must one do, to get you to make such a noise? [Oh dear, he's so bad at this trying to be good thing. Ugh.]

[He enjoys even that small, innocent touch, mentally mapping out the stars.] Of course there are no lines; there are none in the sky. Ah, that's... Thjazi. [He pokes to of the stars (or close enough, since he can't see them) lightly with his fingers.] Those are his eyes.

Ah no, I meant... you said you documented the outbreak.

Be my idiot little brother, I guess? [This is why he should just be himself and not try to be someone or something else other than who and what he is. Still, that name was utterly unfamiliar to him, but Loki was not incorrect to identify the eyes. Maybe it was a Lokiism.]

Well. I know it as Gemini. But Thazji or whatever is kinda cool, too.

[Something about his demeanor went a little guarded-- not guarded, just... quiet when Loki clarified. He had made it a point not to speak of specifics, but in his own way, for better or worse, he trusted Loki not to mock him too seriously. Mocking was par for the course, of course.]

In the SD card of my cell phone. It died... a while back. Two days after the power stations failed. It's been there ever since. No one wants to really look at it too closely for documenting purposes so far. Still kind of... raw.

Mmm. No one's idiot, I'm afraid.

Thjazi. [He smooths his hand over the tattoo like he will somehow read the ink with his palm.] A giant, actually.

[He cocks his head, considering the different quality of that silence. Then carefully, he reaches up to touch Eugene's cheek with his hand. Partially to feel for his expression, then to offer comfort. A selfish kind of comfort, really.]

So you have a tale that no one wants to hear.

You're probably a lot smarter than me, so if I call you an idiot, it's gotta be really dumb.

Also, giant? Is there more information at the library on that? Because if there's a different interpretation of this than I'm thinking, I'd rather know than not--

[It was an old habit, one honed through horrors and loss, to make light of it and move onward with what was important. Never look back, because looking back got good people killed. But it was difficult to keep up the act when Loki spoke pretty much through his attempts. His smile, Loki could feel, was a little strained, but not from Loki's proximity.]

Kind of two-fold. Don't wanna hear, don't really wanna tell. It's just... senseless loss and tragedy. But I can't... delete it or get rid of it.

Don't be hard on yourself. I'm a great deal smarter than everyone.

I don't know, really. I haven't bothered to see what books might be there about the lore of Asgard and the other realms. [Since he already knows all that lore.] What interpretation is it you have in your mind?

[He can feel that bit of strain, indeed, and acts unthinkingly to try to offer a bit of comfort, much like he would with Rogue. Their hands are still joined; he slowly strokes Eugene's fingers with his.]

It would be a bit like destroying a memory, I should think. Trying to make it as if it never happened to begin with. [He sounds thoughtful as he says those words.]

That makes me feel so much better, Loki. You're the best.

[Can you hear him rolling his eyes? It's because he knows it's the truth]

Gemini is more like twins? Dual-nature? I only know western zodiac stuff, and I'm going by the updated one, so... most people would argue I'm not Gemini.

[Eugene had always responded better to touch than to words. Words were distant things, things used for work, for transmitting information. Touch communicated through a different set of nerves and interpretations in the brain.]

Yeah, but it's important stuff. There'll be people who come after me who need to know what life was like before. Stuff's changed, maybe we have the chance to do things over. To remind people where we went wrong.

[Certainly, he felt safer in some respects, with being himself instead of on guard. He could be openly affectionate with Jack at Abel, as well as several others. That, in itself, was liberating]

I know I am. [Ehehehe.]

Dual nature? What are your two natures? [Eugene hasn't struck him as all that much like that.] I know not of those constellations, I'm afraid. Or the zodiac. Is it a method of divination?

[When the touch seemed to work as a means for soothing, he made a mental note of it, then continued that light touch. He felt rather soothed, himself.]

Mmm. It makes sense, to wish to know what happened before, yes. But why hold on to the pain of its ending?

[Alright, so he laughs a little, an honest kind, bubbling up softly before he cleared his throat]

Shut up. You're horrible, the worst. The best at being the worst. Bar none.

[Not that he was going to stop Loki. It felt nice, and it was harmless, and it was better than sitting across from Loki and just focusing on how he can't see a thing.]

My two natures? Are, uh... well, I dunno. You'd have to ask someone else who knows me, I guess. It's astrology, horoscopes, stuff that generalizes everything and makes it so that you can nearly identify with any of the signs, honestly.

....And we hold on because it makes us who we are. If not for the apocalypse, I wouldn't have Jack. Sometimes you come away with good out of the bad. I'd never have lost my leg, and as much as I want to forget that, it makes me appreciate what I have. Or-- well, it's... different, now. Malnosso shifting it back and all.

You speak such pretty compliments. My head will become swelled with them all. [Teehee.]

So it is a divination tool? [He smiles crookedly.] Such things are far better at telling you what you might wish to hear about yourself than anything true.

But perhaps I can afford to be jaded, as a man with no birth date.

[Good with the bed. Hah.] That is some good to be taken, I suppose.

What would you do, then, if there was nothing good to be taken from it?

If there's nothing good? Well, it's a part of who I am, people admire those that have the strength to carry on. I don't remember much after I couldn't walk. What good came out of losing my leg? I couldn't walk, run, barely could get around on the broken crutch they had.

[This was visibly difficult for Eugene to discuss, preferring to keep it to himself. Few people knew the depths of how low he'd gotten from that. It nearly broke him, something he hadn't been proud of.]

It's hard, to realize you're the... you're the guy they'd leave behind for bait. And that... that's all you'd be good for. But then, giving in and giving up... it makes you weaker? I dunno.

[No one has ever admired Loki for his strength. No one ever will. It isn't something he cares about.

But he can hear the pain in what Eugene says. He's not going to offer his own thoughts at this point. But he does pull Eugene's hands up and kisses them, a gesture of affection rather than any sort of lust in this case.]

Giving up would mean not surviving.

[Which requires living. It doesn't require remembering misery.]

That's why I didn't give up. Besides, you'll never know when random knowledge comes in handy.

[It had never been an option, to go on without remembering. That was always something he'd taken for granted. Some of the tension drained from him at the soft kiss to his hands, grinning a little lopsided.]

Sorry to say, I'm probably more dull than your average mortal. I'd show you my tattoos-- I have more. But they require being able to see. Maybe in a few months.

I normally would agree.

But I've come to the conclusion recently that there are certain bits of random knowledge I might be better off without.

[Like remembering what it's like to be torn apart by a black hole. Like loving two people who don't actually exist.

He smiles crookedly.]

Oh, nowhere I ought to be touching, then?

Now you sound like the Men in Black.

[All jokes aside, that didn't sound good. Maybe he was reading into it too much]

You're going to be disgusted with my eclectic tastes in body ink.

...But yeah, you? Without knowledge? Are you sick?

[He moved to feel his forehead for dramatic effect] Sorry, I just... that's crazy talk coming from I'm smarter than thou.

...men in black?

[He laughs.] Oh? What sort of horrid things do you have, then? And where?

[He shrugs.]

I do not forget things, as a rule. There is only so much pain someone might want to recall.

It's a movie, originally a comic. Two guys in an organization, erasing people's memories about aliens for their own good. Maintaining the Prime Directive sort of stuff.

And have you ever heard of a Shippo? You will experience new levels of disappointment once you see it.

[That... was sound logic, though he knew as brilliant as Loki was, and as much as he thought things through, he was... prone to chaotic things. As was his penchant.]

What kind of painful things?

[Well, he knew the prime directive, thanks to the same shifts that put him in this horrible position.] I don't see how one would maintain the Prime Directive that way.

Nay, I know not what a Shippo is. But it must be horribly embarrassing. Were you drunk at the time?

[He shrugs one shoulder.] I do not need to recall was it was like, to be skinned, as one example.

[And yet that pain, he has held on to. But all that pain does is disturb his sleep at times. It keeps him angry when he needs to be, reminds him why his victory over Odin is important.

Unlike this... emotional frustration. That does nothing but bring him misery and cause trouble between him and Rogue, as far as he's concerned.]

I was incredibly drunk. But it sounded like the most awesome thing ever at that moment. It's kind of sentimental to me, though... it's on my left calf.

[Dropping a statement like that had Eugene wondering just what more Loki had been through. Understandably, he knew much less about Loki than Loki knew about him...]

Yeah, I don't think I'd like to remember that, either.

[He hadn't wanted to remember what it was like to feel feverish, see his leg change in ways he knew spelled bad news for him and Jack. But Loki had the floor here, and he wanted to hear about this. It felt somewhat foreboding, but he could be reading into things too much]

I try not to think about all the horrible things that have happened to me. They'll keep me up at night, if so.

[He laughs.] Many things sound...awesome. When drunk. Now I am very curious about this embarrassing monstrosity on your calf.

[Lalala foreshadowing~~]

Ah. So would you forget such things more permanently, if you could?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject